All My Wrath

This post is written under the influence of…………….menstruation.

I am extremely irritable and (Memories by Eisley is playing now and the memories (lol) from that period of time is somehow soothing) have no mood to write my articles. I feel so restless and it doesn’t help that the weather is so fucking humid.

My boss asked me to come on Thursday and Friday again this week. She did that last week. When I first heard about the job it was 5 days, $600. When I went for the interview, it was 3 days, $40 a day ($480). To cut down one more day, and $40 from my already meager pay is making it difficult for me to concentrate. This is not entirely a monetary issue. I like writing, and I find pleasure in the stress that accompanies it. However, I have a limit. The deadlines they give are too close and too short. I don’t know if I’m not handling it well enough and the industry is really like that but somehow I doubt it. I might be wrong and perhaps if someone told me I was wrong I would feel slightly better. For the time being though, it is quite impossible for me to string a sentence for my article because I am wondering if I should get another job?

I told myself I would give it a month to see if she keeps telling me to come for only 2 days. There is another intern that comes Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday and I highly suspect she is telling me to come only for two days because the office is small and there is only one desk for an intern. I don’t mind going to work for 2 days if they paid me by per article. But they are paying me very little for the amount of work I do, and I’m new! She said she’ll take it easy since I’m new, and then she gave me 8 articles to do (with deadlines that goes like this 18th, 21st, 23rd, 24th, 25th, and 28th). Maybe I’m not used to it yet. Not used to researching and writing an article in 2 days. So it’s alright, i’ll just do the best I can. And so I do work on Mondays and Tuesdays. And Sundays. And Saturdays if I don’t have anything on. But the thing is… i’m only getting paid for 2 or 3 days. I only get paid if I go to the office. But I need to finish my work at home?! What sorcery is this?????????

If they want another intern for just two days, then say it. And pay by article because paying by day is pathetic. If I work 2 days a week, that’s $320. I have only worked 2 days, and will work another 2 days this week and that’s 8 articles. So in a month I’m assuming I’ll write 16 articles. WHICH IS GREAT FOR MY PORTFOLIO. But I earn $360 from writing JUST TWO freelance articles from Company X. SO TELL ME….

AM I WHINY? AM I? IS THIS POST AN EXAMPLE OF MY INCOMPETENCE OR DELUSIONS OF THE WRITING INDUSTRY? TELL ME SOMEONE TELL ME.

My mum and boyfriend is telling me to quit because the working ‘conditions’ aren’t very good but I’m not a quitter. Well, not when it comes to writing and I’d like to hold on to it for awhile to see how it works out. Because I hated Company X at first, and loved it in the end. I’ll give it a month, like I said. Perhaps it’ll get easier.

I have not bathed. And I am exhausted.

I woke up, ate (read a chapter of Harry Potter while doing so because I have to read or watch something when I eat unless I am with company), and started my research for the latest article. This was at .. 3pm. Except for the one hour break that I allowed myself, and only because a friend called to confide in me about something, I have not stopped researching or writing. I finished the article at 11pm. I watched a bit of Greys Anatomy, which got interrupted by poor internet connection, and started on my proof reading.

The graphic designer emailed me four articles to proofread. Four articles that have been included in the layout process, which means it came with a full layout, pictures, and pretty fonts (though honestly, I wished she would be more consistent with the fonts because too many different ones give me an eyesore.) Three out of the four articles were riddled with mistakes and typos and I found myself wondering if these articles were written badly on purpose so they could test my proof reading skills. I highly doubt so. And gosh I don’t mean to sound bitchy or self-righteous but I pray my articles don’t give other proofreaders a heart attack. Now, I am no expert and I am certainly not qualified to proofread an article to excellence. So I found myself slightly insecure about what I’ve edited. Was it too much? Am I altering the voice of the article? Somehow, something inside me (lol) told me to just go for it and make it better. I don’t think I butchered it. I think I did pretty well actually. Besides, I kept thinking about how my editor friend rose to his post so quickly. He must have had the guts to edit things without any guilt right? How else would he have done it? HAHA. I really want to be an editor some day. I’ve always seen myself to be just a writer, but I guess writing should eventually lead to … being an Editor?

Well I’ll just have to wait and see what my boss says. Oh and fyi, (or mine, because the sole purpose of this blog is to remind myself what I’ve done during my teenage years) my boss is not the editor.

I am waiting for my brother to finish bathing so I can use the bathroom. I feel so sticky and stinky.

STINKYPOO.

This is a long post.

First day of work and I was given 8 assignments. Their deadlines are so close together I don’t think I’ll actually be working ‘three’ days a week.

Sometimes I feel the need to move from Tumblr to proper blogging space because I really dislike clogging up my blog with pictures but reblogging is addictive.

Anyway, I think with the proper organisational skills I will be able to get the articles done. I’m just exhausted from sourcing out my own interviewees because in Company X I’ve always had them readily given to me. Now I scroll down pages on end to get numbers and names I can call and even that won’t guarantee me an interview. It is a challenge, but one that I welcome because it makes me a better media practitioner and slightly more adept in handling social interaction.. even if it is behind the phone.

Thankfully my boss decided to hold back two articles so my schedule is loosened up a bit. I still have to write an article tomorrow (Sunday) so I can submit it on Monday (technically I don’t work on Mondays).. and I have another one due on Wednesday but all is good. 

I had some trouble with my Microsoft Word and long story cut short I had to reformat my laptop. Before that, I spent an hour on the phone with someone from VAIO… in the office. What was I thinking? I’m quite thankful my boss didn’t shout at me and only reminded me that I had work to do. I apologised and continued to work hard for the rest of the day.

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Anyway, on the 15th and 16th I had one of the most awesome night/day? *the timing is pretty screwed) out with my friends and now I’m feeling all addicted-y to having crazy nights in hotels with them. Can you be addicted to something you’ve only experienced once? Seems a stupid lol but I am just trying to emphasise how fun it was. Except for that part where we waited for the rain to stop for hours. But every plan has its pitfalls.

The charades, the jokes, and the erratic dancing of few individuals (including me but I think no one noticed, or maybe only Nina or Afiq. I’m not sure.. but I was just so hyper. It wasn’t really dancing trust me I was just jumping around). 

I loved snuggling up to Afiq before falling asleep and honestly I think that was the best part (before the snoring). But really, my friends are hilarious. Why is it that my language abilities fail me whenever I blog about something happy.

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I attended a dance event today. With Fazlina, for Kat. I didn’t expect myself to like it but I think I did. Well not all of it, just a certain part but seeing fellow youths like myself engage in something they are passionate in makes me feel really happy for some reason. I couldn’t stop yawning though. I’m so tired.

Goodnight.